jan 2, 2007 - incident of the naked guy in TV
my parents biggest fught.
Description:
One of my earliest memories. One of the few memories that I have of us as a whole family was that we were at a party at one of my father's friends.
They were flipping through the channels when they got to one channel which was showing a topless man with long hair at a poolside. They immediately went on to other channels, but I asked them to go back so I could watch the topless man a bit more. My father's friend started laughing catching my dad’s attention who was standing in the kitchen and didn’t have a full view of the TV. My father laughed as well until he joined us near the TV when he realized that It was a boy. Apparently, at first, he thought that it was a girl since the guy was quite skinny and had long hair and no beard. Anyways he immediately asked his friend to change the channel and started apologizing for me claiming that “I must have thought it was a girl.”
I was too young to say anything or to defend myself at all but I remember clearly that I was fully aware that, that was a boy.
Anyways that was not the only reason why the incidents of that night stayed with me.
After we got home he put me down the couch and started asking me why I wanted to watch the naked man.
Obviously, I had no answer for him. then he went on to tell me that I have let him down (kochikesh kardam) and that I shamed him in front of his friend and made him have to apologize.
I remember my mother getting involved. Telling him that I was just a baby and that he was acting crazy.
In a matter of a second that turned into one of the worst nights of my life. My parents got into the biggest fight possible. It even got physical. My father broke my mother's teeth and the situation got so bad and loud that the neighbors called the police, police showed up and arrested my father and took him away.
I remember feeling extremely guilty about that whole night. I even remember apologizing to my mom.
She has told me over and over that, I should not feel the way I do but it’s hard. I know that I might have not consciously orchestrated that whole event but I do think that my nature has caused it.
It’s not easy to know that simply your existence has caused such a horrible incident.
My mom told me many times that their relationship was like a gunpowder barrel, waiting to explode.
It just sucks to know that me, my existence, and nature were basically the match that catalyzed the process and essentially blew up the powder keg.
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