feb 25, 2021 - 25 february Y21
in front mirror
when he was 12y.o)
25 february Y21 (HS)
I danced without taking my eyes off my reflection in the mirror. The me in there soared up without touching the ground, free from all the gazes and standards of the world. Nothing mattered to me but moving my body to the music, putting my whole heart into my body.
I first danced when I was about twelve. Maybe it was around the time of the talent show in a field trip. I followed my friends and stood on the stage. Among what happened that day, I could still remember the applause and the cheer. And the feeling of being myself for the first time. At that time, I was only thinking of moving my body to the music and having fun. It was ecstasy, and it was not until much later did I learn that that ecstasy didn’t come from the applause, it came from somewhere inside me.
The me outside the mirror is hung up by many things. I can’t lift my feet off the ground for more than a few seconds, I smile even when I hate it and smile when I’m sad too.. I take medicines I don’t need yet still collapse anywhere. So I try not to take my eyes off myself in the mirror when I dance. The moment I can truly become myself. The moment I can throw away all the weight and fly. The moment that makes me believe I can become happy. I keep my eyes on that moment.
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