8 lugl 2023 anni - High School / College

Descrizione:

What messages did you hear/learn about being religious?
In my high school and college years, when I was just 16 years old, I got into a toxic relationship with a person online. That was the first mistake, but he had forced me into learning how to be a Muslim so that I was more accepted by his family. Through this, I gained so much knowledge about and on religion in general, the people primarily of this religion and their culture, as well as about myself. I was required by him to watch videos explaining different parts of being Muslim, as well as their ideologies, and ensured to study all that I could to show my interest in the religion. I learned that there had to be a witness to your vow to be Muslim, and in this, I had to learn all sorts of Arabic in order to pray up to five times a day and fast during Ramadan. This was one of the most challenging parts, too. Alongside this, in my studies, I watched debates between different religions, which all in all just solidified my thoughts on why it made no sense in the first place, though they were very good arguments, overall. I am very grateful that I was presented with this knowledge, though, and that it came to me in a time of need, because some phrases truly did help me when I was struggling with anxiety after my uncle had passed away. So, in that, it was good to me, but I was very doubtful of the concepts I was taught. That being said, I now have no religious affiliations and am both very curious and skeptical about all concepts in general. It is not a huge part of my life anymore, though it has been in years past, and I am thankful for my experiences within its realm of knowledge. There is just, to me, no way of knowing what is true, and it is so beyond twisted now that everything is so much different than when it was first discovered, I believe. Though, who is to say the prophets did not struggle with mental illness, such as schizophrenia? it is religiously inclined. Just things like this make me doubt religion in general, and looking at it from a sociological perspective, I just fail to believe any one part of any religion anymore. I hope that this made sense.

Where did the messages come from? (i.e. Parents, other family members, religious organizations, schools, teachers, media, other institutions, peers, etc.)
These messages, as said, came from a past boyfriend that I had an online relationship with when I was 16 going on 17.

What behaviors were encouraged, rewarded, and supported? How?
I went into this briefly, but behaviors that were very supported were making sure that I knew my facts and could speak about them, as well as getting the language down and being able to communicate properly with other Muslims.

What behaviors were discouraged, unsupported, and punished? How?
Behaviors that were discouraged were not asking questions, as it showed signs of a lack of interest, and doubting, as I have said across the past few age ranges.

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