Long talk with Logen. still not coming for weekend (16 mayo 2018 año – 17 mayo 2018 año)
Descripción:
i talked with Logen for about 20 minutes. Yesterday she said it wasn't my weekend. I texted Melissa and she texted back that "she was trying to get Logen to reconnect and she will remind her that it is my weekend".
So tonight when I talked with Logen at first she didn't want to come at all still, still brining up Marilynn and that we gang up on her and she shouldn't have to see her and only see me. that marilynn shouldn't be involved in anything. That I have messed up so much and she has given me enough chances and she won't give me any more. Same old stuff. Meanwhile, reminder, everything was fine, she was happy at our house, loving with Marilynn, confiding in both of us, until only about 2 or 3 months ago. that is with the exception of the brief period of alienation right before her 8th grade graduation because i didn't give Melissa extra money at her request. Logen came around and saw the truth of things and confided a whole lot to us including how none of the summer school fight or bringing up court came from her and that it was all from her mom. she also admitted that all of the weekends that she missed wasn't fair to her dad and that she regrets that she hardly saw him last summer. everything has been great with her and we have learned new skills to empathically listen to Logen and communication has been great. Logen has been angry and hurt that she hardly sees her mom and that even when she does she is always angry and yelling at her and she can't seem to connect to her. that she doesn't tell her anything anymore.
The turning point to this new alienation was right after Logen had a successful talk with Melissa at our encouragement and coaching about how nothing she ever does is good enough and she is being too hard on her and always angry, etc. That was the same weekend that Logen said "You guys give way more of a crap about me than my mom has in months". Logen came home to me that weekend so excited about her conversation with her mom and that it went so well and things were improved in their relationship and she felt connected to her for the first time in a long time.
We also talked about the summer calendar and even though she originally told us she didn't want to do summer school and preferred to do an internship at my work, and if necessary do summer school online, she was back to insisting on summer school at Alemany. The issue was that cheer practices continued for another 3 weeks after that basically leaving Logen with only 2 weeks off from school stuff all summer. that day she said she would consider online summer school. i told her we would look in to all of the options even through Alemany and figure it out. I sent an email to Melissa after that expressing what we talked about and she has been alienated ever since.
it seems like it happened overnight and it keeps getting worse not better. Last summer she eventually turned around, but she is sinking deeper and deeper in to hatred for me and Marilynn. So Logen saying that she has always faked it for 14 years that she was happy and only did nice things for us so we wouldn't gang up on her, and that she has been miserable every time she has been with us doesn't make sense. she is being told that she only has to come to my house if she wants to now that she is 14 and that she calls the shots.
our theory is that Melissa's narcissism got triggered and Logen must have said something to her mom about us encouraging her to talk to her, or maybe she said more, like how supportive we have been. she definitely told Melissa that Marilynn was part of the conversation about summer because ever since then Logen has been saying all of these terrible things about Marilynn that she has never said before. she sounds like a jealous ex, not a 14 yr old that loves her step mom.
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Logen alienation timeline
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