27 mars 2014 - What If...?

Description:

It's been a while since I became curious about what my friend meant about finding a "princess". Was that allowed? I had never heard of such a thing.

I went to youtube.com and typed "gay", a word I had only heard used in a derogatory way- usually from the same boy who called me names at school. I thought it was a bad word.

But then I saw a related search pop up: "coming out stories". TONS of them. Needless to say, I ended up watching TONS of videos that day. My mom walked into the kitchen, where the family laptop sat on the table, with me crying in front of it. I didn't notice the tears falling down my cheeks until she asked what I was doing.

"Mom, what if I was gay?"

"W-why would you ask something like that?"

The look on her face made me uncomfortable. It made me regret asking that.

"I was just watching videos, and... Sometimes people don't know until high school... or-or COLLEGE! Just... what if-"

There it was. The look on her face.

But, worse than the look on her face was the answer.

"Don't watch videos like that anymore."

That's not what I wanted to hear.