7 sept. 2005 - Girl... crush?

Description:

“Accumulating studies from the United States over the past decade suggest that the development of sexual attraction may commence in middle childhood and achieve individual subjective recognition sometime around the age of 10. As these studies have shown, first same-sex attraction for males and females typically occurs at the mean age of 9.6 for boys and between the ages of 10 and 10.5 for girls” (Herdt & McClintock, 2007). I remember very clearly thinking about attraction when I was around 10, but this time point is related to my first ever crush on a girl when I was in 3rd grade.

Now, as a third-grader, all I knew was that boys had cooties, but that girls were really pretty. So, what does third-grade me do? I talk to my sister about it! She is three years older than me, so she was full of sage wisdom as a sixth-grader. I did not know that I like-liked the girl, I just thought she had the prettiest eyes and was so nice. My sister told me that the crush was okay, but that girl, in particular, was a troublemaker. So, while I did not pursue my love interest, I did get to interact with my blooming sexuality.

The tiny school I went to only had nine students in my grade: 5 girls, including me, and four boys. During recess, all of the girls would hang out on the swings and talk about how cute the boys were. It was funny, all four of the other girls had a match with one of the four boys. I was the odd one out. (Ironically, I am now the only one of we nine who is gay and also not cis.) I had a hard time talking about how cute the boys were. I just did not think they were pretty. So, I transitioned to hanging out with the guys, who played basketball during recess. I discovered that they talked about how cute the girls were. I felt like I had more to give to their conversation, as I had a crush on a girl and did not really feel super girly.

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